braidedconfessions.

This is going on my list of experiments.

artofprocrastination.

So I'm sitting in the library doing nothing. I'm supposed to be studying for my chemistry exam tomorrow. haha. No progress. GO LEAH! But yeah, I figured that I might as well write a blog. So here it goes:

I find myself spending numerous hours doing useless stuff (i.e. Facebook, Myspace). Lmao. I spend my time on those sites just looking at people. Then I wonder to myself why I spend so much time looking at people who I barely even know. Why am I so intrigued by those people whom I barely know or have never met? It's this thing called being human. It's also jealousy or just pure curiosity. Jealous in the sense that they are prettier, or have better clothes. Curiosity in the sense that they're just plain interesting or entertaining to "observe." haha. Dude, that's stalkerish status. But anyways...it's bad because I do useless things on the computer when I could be spending my time studying or ministering. Well, I'll work on that.

Hm...I feel like I'm in two worlds: one at home, one at Biola.

• Life at Home: I feel like I am more in charge of myself there. I feel more independent. I feel like I'm more depended on. I also feel like I have to be the grown up and more mature there.
• Life at Biola: I feel like my life is more of a mess here. I feel independent, but not wanting to be. I feel like I'm super depending on others all the time. I feel like the little kid who everyone wants to pick up.
  

Now, neither of these are a bad thing; I was just stating the differences that I feel.

Hm...so I feel like blabbering about 10 facts:

1. I am Hmong. The Hmong people are a minority tribal group that originated from Southern China. There are many Hmong still in Southern China; however, all the Hmong that I know are from Thailand and Laos.
   
2. I had my appendix taken out when I was in 2nd grade. It was one of the best experiences of my life. My stomach hurt and they did not know what was wrong with me, so they transferred me to Stanford's Children Medical Hospital. AMAZING!
3. I love babies and kids. I would have a million if I could. I take random pictures of babies and kids too. [no, i'm not a stalker]
4. I'm one of those girls who dream about her wedding everyday.
   
5. I dislike it when people think Hmong people are from Mongolia. [People from Mongolia are called MONGOLIAN]
6. I'm a leftie, but I do everything else with my right.
7. I'm obsessed with piggies. [you should see my room]
8. My mom just had a baby 4 months ago.
9. For some reason, I don't do well with the waitresses at Pho 21.
10. My middle name, Nkaujnag, means beautiful rain.

So that's it for now. I need to study now. Let's see how far I get before I start on faceook again :/

babypowder.

Over these past weeks, I've been letting go. I've been letting go of my shallow ideas, my own expectations, and my heart. I've given my heart away to a man. I know it's going to be hard, but I know it's going to be even more fun :] Like a paper airplane, no matter where we're thrown, God will definitely fold us back together and keep throwing us until we fly smoothly.

adventures here we come.

matrixpooling.

Leah Lee loves the beach and taking photos of beautiful sunsets. or sunrises. She also likes spending outrageous amounts of money when she decides to go "window" shopping. She is a studious student-as long as she does not have the internet around. She sees joy in any aspect of life, especially with peoples' quirks. She laughs when their quirks appear, but her laughter is not a condemning or mocking laughter. It is simple and pure. She dreads having to deal with her thick hair and envies those who have luscious thin smooth hair. She struggles with Korean waitresses who are rude; she tends to not give them as much slack when it comes to being respectful. Leah Lee also has strong beliefs and is extremely loyal to her family. She is adamant in her pursuit of loving all sports and participates in volleyball and screaming for the Biola basketball team. Because of her personality and having a childlike heart, she has many remnants of this in the physical forms of stuffed animal pigs. She believes in quality time and open communication even if she struggles with it many times like all of humanity. She also pretends to not want to eat until someone discretely places the food in front of her. Leah Lee will then commence eating. She also enjoys playing pool[and beating her friends in it] into the late hours of the night. Her job involves loving the internationals with all her heart, mind and soul. When it is someone's birthday, she creates beautiful cards for them and frantically finds those who love to write on them. Leah Lee also likes competitions and picks up different languages easily. She, like many humans struggles with not liking herself sometimes but also loving God's Grace and many blessings. Her greatest love is watching over babies. She would like a million babies. thank you very much.

Yeah. I wrote this.

Studious. Disciplined. Humble. Intelligent. Knowledgeable. Patient.

There are still tons of things I need to work on.

While I'm on the journey, prayer is the key.

I love my mommy and daddy.

I miss ghetto azn peeps.

lost.in.the.sea.of.faces

So I am superbly exhausted.
Alexander and I just finished planning Crossing Paths - our culture awareness event. We pulled if off well, I think. But I still need to get feedback. I can't believe that it's over. Now we have to start planning for the BIG one next semester -_-.
SO TIRED. I think I over-do myself. Too many classes, and too many responsibilities. I haven't even had time to sit and write blogs anymore. Whenever I do have time, I just nap because my body is so exhausted. I don't even know how my relationships are going, except for the ones in ISA council because whenever I have free time to spend with others, I end up spending time by myself in my room because I don't get enough alone time. But then it takes away from my quality time with those I love. I miss people a lot. Especially those who are ALL THE WAY ACROSS CAMPUS now :(
My grades are slowly...or quickly...going down. I don't prioritize well enough to get my work done and study. AIYA!
I've noticed I've not been emotionally stable either. Not good.



I miss last year, when all I had to do was go to class, and then whatever else I wanted afterwards.
I miss last year, when we were all friends and hung out together.
I MISS LAST YEAR.

But I know God has a purpose for me this year.

detest.

I hate the fact that there is not enough time to do everything needed to be done.
I guess that's God's challenge for us in life. Aiya...I hope I win this game.

most interesting fact about Leah Nkaujnag Lee

She's Hmong.



Das Rah. [that was for Ricardo Chungo]

I feel like I've been missing people more than usual lately.

It's good because I learn to appreciate their friendship more.
I really miss them.

I guess we just haven't made much of an effort to spend time with each other.
Or maybe I value our friendship much more than they do. Who knows. [shrugs]
I sometimes feel as though I can't just spend time with them though. I feel like I'll get hurt if I hang out with them too much. This is probably why I distance myself...I don't want to get hurt again.

All I know is that I miss them.
But things can't stay the same forever.

awe.

It's amazing how the Lord reveals his love and grace through others around us. It's amazing how God loves us so much that he died for us. It's amazing how everything is done in His will and purpose. It's amazing how the Lord gives us free will. It's amazing how beautiful God made the world and all that is in it. I am a daughter of God. I am loved by Him unconditionally. He will always be on my side. The Lord is so good to me. "What else can I do but worship? What else can I do but bow? Cause all I really long for is You. And all I really yearn for is You."

Looking back at the events that have occurred just in these past two weeks, I begin to understand what people mean when they say that a revival is coming soon.

First, on the way to ISA retreat, Monica and Alex got into an accident. The Lord was so faithful and protected us all the time. Being a part of the accident didn't impact me as much as I thought it would. However, seeing how quickly communities gathered to pray was amazing.

Just a couple of days later I woke up to Monica telling me that her friend had just passed away from a car accident. Crazy much? It was 6:30am and I got up immediately. Got in the shower and thought to myself, "The revival is near." I was speechless.

Another couple of days later I was speaking with Sao. He told me about Tria and Moua. They were in a motorcycle accident and are in critical condition. I was shocked. Another accident? More prayer. God really wants us to reach out to Him even more than we already have been.

Soon, news of Bob's mom came to us. Her mother was in critical condition in the hospital. That was all we knew for a while. We soon learned that she was in a coma and on life support. My first instinct was to go to the hospital and pray for her mother. Monday, I skipped Physics Lab to go with Alex to see Bob's mom. Seeing her lie in the bed peacefully, yet with little life in her was a weird feeling. Looking at her all I could do was smile. I went back to the waiting room with a huge smile and happiness in my heart. Maybe it was because I could see God's peace in Bob and her family. They were so calm. Their trust in God was visible to me, and that made me smile.

We walked over to the chapel to pray. Bob's prayer was so amazing. She prayed for an unselfish heart. She told God that if it was in His will, He could take her mom. I have no idea what she's going through. I don't even know if I'd been able to pray that prayer. She truly is an amazing person.

Later that night, we got another call from Bob letting us know that her mother had passed away. I was shocked mostly because I had just seen her earlier. Pondering through the shock, I walked around McNally field. I then realized that we don't take the time to realize just how much God loves us. My heart definitely broke for Bob. She went through so much and yet there was still more to get through. Even so, God is still amazing. His love has no bounds.

Life's A Mystery.

I never know what God is going to throw at me.
I never know what God wants for me.
All I can do is just trust in Him and follow his path for me.

I love adventures ^^

Revival.

It's coming.

blessingsfromabove.

So God is awesome.

He has blessed me with so many amazing people.
I have a great family and great friends.
These people continue to teach me about God's love every day.
They also bring so much inspiration and encouragement.

God has blessed me with people that bring a smile to my face by just looking at them. He has also blessed me with people who I can pour into and receive guidance, understanding, and encouragement.

"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."

lalalalalala. Sing a song of praise to God. lalalalalala.

needles.

AIYA!

So, I got acupuncture today from Luke Yim.
Man. It was definitely an amazing experience.
I'm gonna go do it again.

Luke took an eastern medicine course this summer in China.
So he knows so much! my goodness. amazing man.

Then I was definitely entertained by Alex receiving acupressure because he was too scared of acupuncture. ahaha. Awkward moments, definitely.

YAY. fun day.


Tomorrow is another adventure.

guidanceofGod.

The guys in my life right now whom I undoubtfully adore:

1. My Daddy
2. Zechariah Lee
3. Jeremiah Lee
4. Sao Lee
5. Alexander Sung
6. Rui Guo
7. Richard Chung
8. Daros Koding

TeeterTotter.

So life is a journey of learning how to balance oneself.

Too much on one side and it's no fun.

I pray that God continues to watch over us as we learn who we are in Him.

yuck.

I feel super gross inside.
It's feels as though I've just touched something really dirty and I can't wipe it off.
As though it's inside of me and will never leave.
Like a parasite.



Maybe it's just me that's a parasite; infecting my own mind by thinking too much.
yuck. I hate this part of life.

But I'm gonna learn to make the best of my situation in life.

Yup yup. Can't mess with me!

yoohoo.

So I've just began my first paid job of my life. It's actually a lot of fun. We get to play with the registers and stuff ^^

For some reason I don't really feel like I'm working though, unless I'm on the register. When I'm not on the register, I pick up books and put them in boxes. That part of the job does not really feel like work. But I guess it takes time getting used to. I think it's because I'm so used to doing that kind of labor as volunteer work instead of paid work. But when I am on the register it feels like work because of my mindset. Interesting.

So that's my paid job. Now off to my unpaid job. I am one of the Social Board Leaders for the International Students Association (ISA). My job description is to plan activities for fellowship and create culture awareness. Luckily I have Alex Sung there with me. He's my partner for Social Board. I'm so excited for this year.

Nate Yim, Small Group Leader, has asked me to be a small group leader. I have been praying about that for a long time and I'm really glad that I'm going to be able to lead a group.

I am worried though. Am I going to have enough time to do all of this? Who knows. Only God can help me get through this. Well, that's my work life for now. Exciting though.

MindClearing

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Hopefully I can clear it enough for God

nuisance.

peoplewhoareindicisiveandrediculouslykindtothepointwherethey
areretarded.

forserious.

Man, this movie was super super super amazing. After the movie finished, I was surprisingly super happy. I thought about it and this is why:

The movie was full of adventure-Wesley was an ordinary guy who had a girlfriend that was cheating on him with his best friend, one of the most annoying bosses, and no money. His life was boring. Then one day his life changes and he gets to have adventure!!!!

The movie portrayed nobility-there was a part when Fox had to choose between doing the right thing and taking her own life or living a lie and killing innocent people; she chose to take her own life. That was so awesome.

The movie portrayed love-Wesley's father Cross sacrificed his life for his son.

I guess I loved the movie so much because that's what I want my life to be like.

THAT WAS AN AWESOME GAME!!! (from Hook the movie)

superstar.

So today was Becka's birthday and guess where we went to celebrate?!!! LAGUNA BEACH! ahha. the whole time we were talking about LC and Steven. It was pretty cool. But seriously, that place looks so expensive. I don't think I'd want to live there. Everyone there was superly dressed and stuff. We ate at an Italian restaurant called Pomodora. It was pretty good and not as expensive as I expected. My plate was $9.95. Yeap.

On our way back to the car, (we had to walk because there was NO parking) we used the public restrooms which were located in back of a parking lot. Afterwards, we were kind of walking in a closed street/alley. There was this random guy outside peeing. He told us not to look. Then he tried talking to us while he was peeing and we were walking away. He was definitely drunk. Then we got home around 11:00p.m. I still had to plan my events for ISA. But Laguna was fun :]

ka-pow.

biggest slap in the face:

being told that you're not something you tried so hard to be.

poopysituation.

Life is poo. Leah Nkaujnag Lee is not good enough for anything or anyone. Life is poo. Leah Nkaujnag Lee is a failure. Life is poo. Leah Nkaujnag Lee has never felt so hurt and so much pain. Life is poo. Leah Nkaujnag Lee is done. Life is poo. Leah Nkaujnag Lee is poo.

earlyadventure.

August 8, 2008

So it’s 1:04a.m. right now. Why am I not sleeping? I have no idea. I got home from VBS around 10p.m. I took a bath and did my quiet time with God. I was really tired around 11:40p.m. but for some reason I just couldn’t sleep. I got on my computer and played Spider Solitaire for a while just to make my winning percentage higher. Since I haven’t been able to go online, Spider Solitaire has become a good friend of mine. So now I’m sitting in bed wondering why I don’t want to go to sleep. I was really exhausted earlier. If I laid down I could have easily passed out. However, I chose not to. Hm…I have no idea why I’m still up. I decided to do something more productive than Spider Solitaire, so now I’m typing this.

Am I still up because there are too many things on my mind? Well, let’s see what’s bothering me right now. Being able to trust God full heartedly is definitely on my mind. The whole Chao issue is definitely on my mind. How I’m going to pull off tomorrow’s lesson for VBS is definitely on my mind. How I’m going to balance work, school, and ISA is definitely on my mind. Wondering if I’m ever going to succeed as a med student and doctor is definitely on my mind. Wondering if I’m going to be able to live a happy and content life is definitely on my mind. Wow, I actually have a lot on my mind.

The other day after Night of Worship, NouV cracked my back…wow, it was loud. NouV said that I’m too stressed. My response was, “Really?” Many times I don’t realize I’m stressing. I stress so much that I don’t notice it anymore either. Do I stress? I don’t think so…but obviously my back begs to differ.

I don’t want to be sad anymore. However, I also don’t want to pretend I’m happy anymore either. People always comment on how I’m always happy and smiling and stuff. They say that they’ve never seen me sad or mad. This shocks me because I’m actually a pretty sad and mad person. However, I do thank God for giving me a pretty good life. There isn’t that much I can get upset about.

Man, I really really really want to have a heart like God. Right now I’m reading a book called “Capitivating.” I’m only on chapter two, but I read something that made me question God’s purpose in boys. The book stated that God created woman to complete man. Without women the world is incomplete. By creating a woman, God is showing the world that He is a God of relationship, adventure, and beauty: just as a heart of a woman. He wants us to pursue Him whole heartedly just as women want to be pursued whole heartedly by men. STOP! Right there. If God wants us to pursue Him whole heartedly, then why did God make guys. I mean, guys always like different girls at the same time. Even if they pursue you, is it whole heartedly??? How can it be whole heartedly when they have someone else in the back of their minds??? Ju always told me that a guy always has three hearts for different girls…or something along that line. Well, that’s my question of the night. I pray all the time for God to help me understand boys. I know it’s going to be a long journey. But if the answer to boys is at the end of the road, I’m ready to travel it.

Right now I’m learning more about my purpose in God as a single woman. Wait, am I a woman? Maybe I’m just a lady. Uh…I like being a girl. I don’t really feel like growing up. College is hard. Money sucks. And so do bills. I want to go back to kindergarten when my dad would put my clothes on for me in the morning and comb my hair like a boy. I would go to school without a care in the world. The only thing I wanted to do was have fun. As I get older I think a lot more with this brain of mine. Thinking is good, but too much thinking can definitely kill you.

Wow. Now I’m just rambling about a bunch of random things. Oh well, it’s still a stress reliever for me…for now at least.

Oh, the Thailand team came back. Seng seems super Thai now: always speaking in Thai. Makes me kind of miss Guatemala. Actually, I miss it a lot. But I’m glad to be home right now. But I’m leaving in FOUR days. Wow, my summer was a lot shorter than I thought. I’m missing out on so much. It seems as though the youth does everything when I can’t make it. But when I’m here, they don’t have anything to do. I’m going to be missing out on the Bonfire with Modesto and Merced. It’s okay, I’ll be with ISA.

Hmm….things I’m looking forward to this semester:

1) Sao visiting me before Christmas

2) Being social board leader

3) Leading small groups for ISA girls

4) Watching my brother Jeremiah grow

5) Doing well in school

6) POOL!!!! Richard Chung is going down.

So now it’s 1:32a.m. I need to be going to sleep now. Aiya. Yawn yawn.

Wow, I wrote a lot. I wonder if anyone read to the end of this.

watashi wa

I am...

well, I think I'm strong. But at the same time I know I'm weak.
I want to be strong. I want to stand on my own. But sometimes I feel that I have an overwhelming weakness that overcomes me. I try to look past it and stay strong. But hey, I'm still human.

In our weakness He is strong...I never really understood that.
It's just a phrase that I use to comfort myself.

This summer I'm learning how to rely on God and really lean on His shoulder and no one else's. It's definitely been a struggle because my whole life I've been relying on everyone around me. But now is the time when I have to really reach for Him. I have to run towards Him with my whole heart. I need to praise Him in everything I do. I need to practice being in the presence of God.

AYA. sigh. pray for me.

Piecesofme.

July 27, 2008

So today at our Divine Warriors gathering, we learned about comparing ourselves to others. Wow. We took a survey…and I scored surprisingly high. If you received 20 or over then that meant that you struggle with comparing yourself to others. Haha. My score was 26. I never realized just how much I compared myself with those around me. I knew I did, but wow, I do it a lot. One of the survey questions was, “How often do you give other girls the once-over?” The once-over is basically judging another person at first sight or by their appearance. I put a five there: most of the times. Even if it’s a positive judgment, I’m still looking at them and comparing myself to them. I notice that I don’t just compare physical qualities between me and another girl; I also compare characteristics and abilities. I always try to be the “best” at everything. Sometimes when I see a girl who I think can be a better wife than me, I get irritated, or even a better girlfriend. Here’s a list of just some of the things I want to be best at:

1) School

2) Sports

3) Singing

4) Piano

5) Being a wife/girlfriend

6) Leader

7) Friend

**but I’ve noticed that when I try to be the best at everything…I’m only half good…because there are too many things to be good at.

When I compare myself with others, I may end up putting myself above other people. This is definitely wrong, because everyone, I mean EVERYONE, can definitely do something better than you. When I put others below me, I don’t give them the respect that I should. Also, when I put someone highly of me because they’re more beautiful, I’m also forgetting about how amazing God made me. When we forget, our self-esteem lowers…and we may even become emo and depressed. How does this make God feel? I bet He’s crying with frustration because we do not realize just how beautiful He made each and everyone one of us. God makes all things beautiful.

As human beings, we tend to focus on the negative than we do the positive. One mistake or flaw irritates us. But we have to remember that no one is perfect. Also, God allows mistakes and flaws so that we may learn and mature to be men and women of God. As they say, “Beauty is from the inside-out.”

Our culture today definitely tells us that physical beauty is everything. One has to be skinny, have flawless skin, perfect bone structure, proportioned body, etc…

NO! The only beauty I see in all of that is…nothing, unless you use it to praise the Lord.

With all of these things on my mind, I don’t have enough time to think about God and praise Him. I’m too focused on materialistic things instead of bringing glory to God.

I know during this time in my life, I’m still struggling with Chao and his new interest. I look at her and say to myself, “Of course he would like her. She is so much prettier than me, so much more humble, more talented….etc. Basically she’s better than me.” With these thoughts, I forget how amazing I am in the eyes of God. I too have my strengths, not just weaknesses. God made me the way I am so that I can impact the world for Him and no one else. We all have our own purpose and our own path that God has made for us. Our job is to forget all the shallow stuff and focus on Him so that we can figure out His purpose in us and make sure we follow the right path.

We need to appreciate all of the amazing people in our lives, but we cannot compare ourselves to them.

We also need to appreciate all of the, what we think are the “not so amazing” people because God put them in our lives for a purpose. Also, they too have amazing qualities within them. Even though we may not see them, God does.

So, the lesson learned:

Stop comparing myself to others and learn to appreciate everyone in my life. Bring glory to God in all I do and remember to focus on Him.

I LOVE JESUS, YES I DO. I LOVE JESUS, HOW ABOUT YOU????

LoveofGod ^^

An Exert from "When God Writes Your Love Story":

Love is the cologne of Christ. You can't get close to Him without catching its overwhelming fragrance. Love is the scent of Christ's true followers, too. And it's the fragrance of love that we, as Christ's followers, are personally responsible to drench ourselves in. Take off the cologne cap and just dump it. The heavier the aroma, the more of Jesus this world will understand and know.

Jesus wasn't mincing words when He said, "You will know My followers by their love." In other words, if there is no scent of Christ's love on someone, then they bear no evidence of true devotion to Christ. Love is our badge as Christians. Just as an FBI agent whips out his ID and states, "FBI!" we as Christians whip out our attitudes, actions, and words to prove, "I am with Him!"

MyExistingSituation

I took a quiz at http://www.colorquiz.com/

My Results:
Unwilling to extend herself or exert undue effort (with the possible exception of sexual activity). Feels that further progress requires more from her than she is willing or able to give. Would prefer reasonable comfort and security rather than the rewards of greater ambition.

Wants to overcome a feeling of emptiness and to bridge the gap which she feels separates herself from others. Anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to explore all its possibilities, and to live it to the fullest. She therefore resents any restriction or limitation being imposed on her and insists on being free and unhampered.

Believes that she is not receiving her share--that she is neither properly understood nor adequately appreciated. Feels that she is being compelled to conform, and close relationships leave her without any sense of emotional involvement.

Very exacting in the standards she applies to her choice of a partner and seeking a rather unrealistic perfection in her sex life.

Takes easily and quickly to anything which provides stimulation. Preoccupied with things of an intensely exciting nature, whether erotically stimulating or otherwise. Wants to be regarded as an exciting and interesting personality with an altogether charming and impressive influence on others. Uses tactics cleverly so as to avoid endangering her chances of success or undermined others' confidence in herself.

Problem 1:
Seeks to avoid criticism and to prevent restriction of her freedom to act, and to decide for herself by the exercise of great personal charm in her dealings with others.

Problem 2:
Has a fear that she might be prevented from achieving the things she wants. This leads her to employ great personal charm in her dealings with others, hoping that this will make it easier for her to reach her objectives.


ALL I CAN SAY IS......WOW.

igetit

buttcrack.

Finally.

I'm finally letting go. I'm laying it all down before God.

brokenheart.

Lord, I'm really struggling nowadays. I'm sorry if I don't trust you at times.
I always let things get to my head before You.

Fill me up, Lord.
Create a peaceful heart within me.
I pray to be able to open my eyes to Your amazing love.

Lord, I can endure anything through You.

angermanagement.

dang. I really need to take up boxing.

fakelove.

I really appreciate those who appreciate me. I mostly see the good in everyone. People make me happy. I need people around...or else I feel lost and alone. Everyone wants to be loved and appreciated. But when there are people who pretend just so they don't hurt your feelings....they have no idea, but they're doing more damage. I rather people be honest than nice. Honesty shows that you have respect and consideration for the other person. I don't care if you lie to protect someone's feelings....that's retarded....once they find out the truth it hurts even more. There are so many retards in the world. I'm not saying that I'm perfect. I know I'm a retard too. I just wish everyone wasn't scared so that we can get on with our lives. There would most definitely be less pain....I think...

Retards. Trying not to be the bad guy makes you the bad guy.
I'm pissed off....I don't care anymore.

Day 5 Thursday June 12, 2008

We wake up this morning excited to ride horses!!! Off we go. First we pick up the pastor because he knows where Peter’s land is at. We drive there and start picking mangos off the trees. Whoo. It was kind of scary because the mangos would fall out of nowhere and almost hit us. Then we got to ride horses. There were only two horses so we took turns. These two men just walked us around and back, then the more experienced riders, Elizabeth Anderson, Kaelin and Rachelle rode the horses by themselves. Meanwhile, swimming time!!! There was a small but big enough pool for us. They are so awesome because they cleaned he pool and put in new water just for us. It was so nice and relaxing. The water was kind of green but super nice. It was just green due to the chlorine. It was getting late so we had to leave. Peter said that we could return on Saturday and relax the whole day instead of just half the day – we still had VBS and church. Man, I have got to say that an experience I will never forget and forever miss is drying off while standing in the back of the truck with your arms open wide and screaming at the top of your lungs while the truck is going full speed. The bad part was that my bandana flew off because we were going so fast. L But it’s okay. It was only 98 cents at Wal-Mart. On the way back to the house, we stopped by a school supply store to get supplies for the carnival on Friday. That took forever. Only 4 people went so the rest of us were outside in the back of the truck waiting. Luckily Hermano Jorge parked in the shade. Meanwhile, we probably got about 20 honks in 45 minutes. They don’t honk at us because we’re super babes, mainly because we’re a whole truck full of girls and we’re foreigners. So that was a fun experience because I know I have never been honked at before. After the supplies, we hurried home and threw skirts on. We had to wear skirts every time we were doing anything with the church or just ministering. This is a religious/cultural thing. We ate lunch which was once again amazing. There was beef stew and something similar to laap. It kind of tasted like the stuff they have in the burritos at the burrito stand. It was good. Man people didn’t like it so I got some extra. I was very proud of myself because I’m usually a picky eater and I don’t finish all my food. However, here I actually liked the food and I’m eating all of it. Yay me. Now, it was off to Champas for day two of VBS. This time we were supposed to start at 2:00. We arrived at 2:05 but not many people were there and the pastor hadn’t set up the sound system either. We only waited about 5 min before they came. Since worship was kind of awkward yesterday, the ladies from the church lead worship instead. They even had a CD with songs that they sang along with. We all had a blast singing the songs because of the motions. We also sang a duck one. Quack quack quack quack quack. Next was the memory verse!!! Joshua 1:9. Then another animal story of Noah’s ark. Then we had game time. We did the over and under game with sponges and buckers of water. Instead of going under we just went over: it was simpler. Craft time. We colored arks and put some random stickers on it. We each had our own groups too. After handing out snacks, we headed home for church again. Earlier Bianca had explained to us that many of the people in her church have never prayed quietly like we do. Therefore, they weren’t convinced that we were praying for them. They expected us to actually go up to each person and lay our hands upon them and pray loudly. I knew tonight would be a totally different experience for all of us. Another thing that was different for us was that when they prayed, they not only cried hard and loud, but they would also fall. They would just fall back and sob and sob and sob. Thinking about all of this I thought of how much of a blessing it would be to have Monica here. She is such a prayer warrior and has more experience in this stuff that I do. I started to pray over this man and I just started balling. I started to pray for God to rain down his love upon us and to hold our hands and wrap us in his arms of love. Moving on I saw Kaelin down on her knees praying for a boy who had fallen. She too was cryng. Elizabeth, Melissa and Ashley were on stage playing worship. Most of the people who went up front to pray had gone back. When Melissa started singing, all of us girls raised our voices and it was one of the most beautiful things ever. When we got home Ashley tripped and knocked over a plate that was high. The plate fell on her toe and gave her a deep cut. We ate dinner around 9:00 and then prepared stuff for the carnival tomorrow. While working on the stuff, we watched Miss Congeniality then fell asleep because we were so exhausted.

Piercing eyes.

I guess I am the bad guy.
Many eyes tell me so.

notitle.

Man, I've been seeing God work so much around me. It's amazing.
I want to write more....but i'm tired....so peace out.

Three.

Jumping rope

The driveway of Bianca's family's land.

Day 4 Wednesday June 11, 2008

This morning we woke up and drove to Bianca’s family’s land. It was awesome because we drove over this huge bridge. The river there was amazing. We went down and saw small fish in the water too. Then we hopped back in the car to Bianca’s land. There are some strange fruit trees there. Muy interesante. The land was big but the house was quite small. We wanted to see the hot springs nearby but the road to it was closed. So we turned back and headed to the “downtown” area. There, Bianca, Hermano Jorge (Bianca’s dad) y yo fuimos al banco para cambiar dinero. (We went to the bank to change money.) My traveler checks were preventing me from helping myself and the team. I changed $1,000 and got 7,435 quetzales back. The whole thing took about 30 minutes. So long! Afterwards we met the other girls who have been at the internet café. Most were checking email and facebook while Ashley, Elizabeth, and Kaelin were looking for worship song chords. We headed back home and prepared for VBS. We also had lunch: meat loaf and rice = delicious. While preparing for VBS we didn’t’ know what to expect because today was going to be the first day. VBS wasn’t supposed to start until 3:00 p.m. We arrived at Champas around 2:15. When we arrived everyone was already there. So we had no time to prepare because they expected us to start. So there we were unprepared and a bit lost. We tried to start with worship but we didn’t lead it very effectively. Next was the memory verse: Joshua 1:9. Story time. Adam and Eve. We grabbed kids from the audience to be animals with us as Elisabeth read the story. The kids enjoyed the monkeys best. Next was the craft. We started with coloring pages. That settled the kids down for a while. Then we started to handout animal pieces that are put together by stickers. That was a bit chaotic. We ended up just giving everyone pieces of the animals. As long as they got something they were happy. Afterwards was jump roping for game time! The kids were so excited. So many kids jumped and jumped and faught to jump; it was awesome. We then handed out snacks and cleaned up to leave. The kids had so much fun. We did too but were exhausted. We finished and got home around 4:30 to 5:00. We still had to attend church service at 6:30. We rested a bit then went to church. Church service was fun because they sang a lot. Each song was literally 10 minutes long…trust me, I watched the clock. The congregation was very passionate though. That night they introduced us and we each said something we liked about the trip so far. That night Hermana Blanca (Bianca’s mom) spoke passionately. Then they had intercessory prayer. I’ve seen it before but have never been expected to help lead in it. I personally am not a prayer warrior, but through this experience I have definitely learned so much about the power of prayer. Many of the other girls weren’t used to intercessory prayer or have never seen it before. Therefore, all we did was stand in the back and pray for them because we were asked to pray for them. After church it was so much fun trying to talk to everyone with the small Spanish we knew. Everyone expressed so much happiness for having us there. We were soon off to home super exhausted. Sleep. Yay.

Two.

Us at the Bianca's house eating.

Day 3 Tuesday June 10, 2008

6:20 a.m. we wake up. Morning devotion time! I read Daniel chapter 3 about Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. I also read about God’s power and love in Isaiah 40. After breakfast, we were going to check out the church but got a call from the doctor. We headed towards the hospital all stuffed in a small car. At the hospital we met the doctor as he explained what he had planned for us today. Today he had a diabetic patient come in who needed to clean some open wounds on his legs. With diabetes, your arteries close which limits the glucose from the blood from entering into the mitochondria to produce insulin, the body has a harder time healing wounds. Since the old man got a little open sore on his leg, his body was not able to heal it due to lack of insulin so the sores just got bigger and bigger. We watched the doctor clean his wounds by scrubbing hard on them with anti-bacterial soap. He then scraped the dead skin off and covered his legs with a cream made from herbs. Then he wrapped his leg. Later, we went upstairs to pray for a neighbor who was having surgery. After we all prayed for him, he accepted Jesus into his heart. That was pretty amazing. Next up, we visit the church where we are going to have the carnival. It was pretty small but quite cool. The pastor and his family lived right behind the church which was actually connected to the church. They had an upstairs with open rooms where the kids read and sing. From up there you could see the beautiful mountain and hills. Then the pastor was taking us to visit Las Champas, the place we were going to hold VBS. Las Champas is a small village nearby that is pretty poor. The land there was a lot of muddy and it was a lot more jungle life. The church was called “Nuevo Jerusalem.” We walked around Las Champas in groups of 4 to 5 doing a small prayer walk. Afterwards we met up in the church and prayed. We then headed back home while Bianca, Melissa and I prepared to go see a surgery!!! We are a quick lunch which was so amazing. There was delicious chicken and amazing rice that tasted like fried rice. There was also salad. Porstertomine was the name of the surgery. The same man we prayed for earlier need to take out prostate from his urinary system. We got to the hospital and changed into sterilized scrubs. Super super cool. We put the shoe coverings and the head covering on. We washed our hands all the way up to our elbows then went in. The patient was lying down on a bed that looked like the ones they use for ladies in labor. His legs were propped up because the surgeon was going to stick a metal tube in his “thing.” The metal tubing looked like a long skinny gun. At the end of the gun was a cutting device so that he can cut the prostate gland. The prostate that was left in the system could become cancerous. At the front of the gun was a little hole to look into. Through this, the surgeon was able to see what he was cutting. He let us look into it before he cut it all out and after. Once in a while after cutting, he would pull out the smaller tube and hook a big syringe to the larger tube and suck out the water and prostate pieces. In the end, all the prostate was out and it looked like ground beef. It weighed about 20g. The procedure took about 2 ½ hours and we stood there the whole time. Luckily they had air conditioning in the room so it wasn’t humidly hot. The surgery wasn’t exactly as I had expected because most of the time all we saw was the doctor looking into the tube and pulling the trigger to cut. After the surgery, the doctor showed us some x-rays from another patient they plan on operating later. Muy interesante. We went back home expecting to rest from standing for 3 hours. However, we walked to a couple of stores to get tostadas (thin sugar cookies). Kaelin, the braid master, starts braiding Bianca’s grandma’s hair at the store. A little girl saw and then wanted Kaelin to braid her hair too. So we walked down to her house which was only a house down and braided her hair. She was only 10 years old. When we got back home we are a quick dinner of fried eggs and black beans with sweet bread. Yum. After dinner we headed to Bianca’s uncle’s house for bible study. It was funny when we got there because they wanted us to lead the bible study on the spot. Impromptu. So Kaelin volunteered to give the message of God’s love and we sang worship. Then came the prayer session. Prayer here is so powerful. People were crying everywhere and just burning for God. And when they pray, they not only cru, the shout and praise and speak in tongues. For some reason it didn’t scare me though. I always thought I would be scared at scenes like this. After prayer, we prayed many times, we ate snacks. It was chowmein with ketchup. It sounds gross, but it was delicious. Apparently I was the only one who thought so. It was definitely an amazing night. I had fun.

One.

Day 1-2 Monday June 9, 2008
Wow. We made it to Guatemala. The trip so far has been muy interesante. First off, I had to fly from Sacramento to Los Angeles. Standing in line to get my ticket, I noticed an Asian family in front of us. To my surprise they were Hmong (not that I’ m surprised to see Hmong people, they just didn’t look and then I went up. I only had to wait about 3 min, literally, until they started to board. Right as I was about to hand my ticket they pulled out the Hmong grandma that I had seen earlier. Apparently she didn’t know she was supposed to give them her ticket and just walked through. I thought about asking if they needed help with translation but for some reason I was scared. Well, I got into the plane and sat all the way in the back. I later saw the old grandma sit so I was a bit relieved. I sat next to the window and saw a middle aged man come and sit next to me. Right away he started talking, making a few comments here and there. I knew he was going to be a talker. He commented about how he was glad to have brought a certain book with him. I asked him what book it was. The title had something to do with lust written by Christopher Moore. I was a bit shocked because I expected something a bit more intelligent. He then asked me what kind of books I read. I said, “Mostly Christian books.” Then he asked me what I meant by Christian books. I told him books that guided me through life. He replied, “Oh.” Yeah. Then we both started talking a lot about random things. I could tell he wasn’t a strong believer at that. So I thanked God for the opportunity. I kind of worked my way through the subject. It was pretty intimidating because: 1) he was older 2) he was a huge talker and talkers are intimidating. Basically, what he believes is that religion is similar to that of the story of the blind men and then elephant. Each of the blind men felt different parts of the elephant and believed it was something different. But they were all feeling the same thing. He believes that every religion has a correct part of religion. He also believes that the main purpose of life is to do good and then world will do good back to you. He is focusing on the here and now and not the future. I thought it was interesting so I asked what religion he was. He said that he didn’t really have one but he’d most likely be a Quaker. He likes the Quaker religion because they don’t really tell you what to do. It’s more of your own trial and error. They have resources to help you in your “journey” through. So I guess they guy just wanted freedom and control. He didn’t want someone telling you what is right or wrong. Well we ended up talking the whole flight about politics, religion, animals, pets and travel. We even talked about girls. This guy has eaten so many cool things such as snake, alligator, and even whale.
Well, the flight was over and we exited the plane. Walking out I headed towards the baggage claim area. I saw the old Hmong lady walking somewhere. I decided not to be scared and helped her. I walked up to her and asked her if she needed help. She looked at me with surprise. So I looked at her ticket and explained to her that she had to wait 2 hours for her next flight. Then we went to the bathroom. I took her to her gate. I was going to eat dinner with her and chill. All of a sudden I forgot that I had to go get my luggage!!! Shoot. I started rushing to help her. She wanted to make sure that there would be a person to wheelchair her to her next flight because when she came out of the last flight no one was there. So I spoke to the flight attendants and got her some water. I felt so bad because there wasn’t much that I could do because I wasn’t able to directly speak to anyone assisting her flight. She was on her way to France to visit her daughter. Afterwards I rushed down to baggage claim praying that my bag was still there. I was freaking out because I didn’t know if my bag was going to be gone and I didn’t know how far the United terminal was from the Delta terminal. When I freak out I need someone to talk to. I called Chao. No answer. I called Sao. No answer. I called Monica. No answer. Man. I ran around the baggage claim for about 5 to 7 minutes. Found my bag!!! Yay! Now I had to find where Delta was. Luckily it was only two terminals down. So I’m walking like a madwoman and I see Elizabeth Anderson, one of my teammates. We walk all the way down terminal 5 and found nothing. Then we realized that we had to go upstairs for departures. We reached upstairs and found the rest of our team! Hallelujah! Got in line. Got our tickets. Ready to go! McDonalds was for dinner. I was speaking to Sao when I realized how much I missed my friends. I missed Chao too. Chao called me back. We spoke. He was the last one I spoke to before boarding the plane. On the plane, we waited and waited for take-off. The flight was about 4 ½ hours long. During that time I watched 27 dresses, played a couple of games and slept. Destination reached! We got off the plane and to my surprise it was raining and it looked cold. However, it was humidly hot at 5:40 I the morning. We got out luggages and were picked up by Bianca’s parents in a van. We had a total of 23 luggages for ten girls!!! So the back was packed with luggages and only enough seats for 9 people; there were 13 of us. Obviously we all squeezed together. People were sitting on other people and stuff. Apparently those kinds of things are not illegal over there. We even rode on the back of a truck! All ten of us!!! We stopped along the way at Chicken something. It’s a chicken fast food restaurant. The chicken was muy rico-very delicious. While driving through Guatemala, I noticed that it reminded me of Thailand. There were chickens and cows and horses running around. There was also a lot of jungle. When we got to Bianca’s house we chilled and ate lunch. They actually made chow mein and chicken soup-so delicious. By this time it wasn’t even 12p.m. yet. We chilled and chilled then the pastor who we were going to be working with visited us. We spoke of what was planned and what was needed for the carnival and VBS for the kids. Afterwards we prayed and walked down the street to Bianca’s aunt’s store for cream cheese. We went back home and ate dinner: tortillas with black beans and cheese and fried plantains. Yum Yum. We then had a short meeting and then prepared for bed. I took a nice cold shower. It was interesting but it felt good, night time.

freshstart.

July 1^st, 2008

So today was my first day back home. I have a new brother and I’m soooo excited. His name is Jeremiah Lee. Yesterday I went back to Biola after Nate picked me up. They’re painting a lot of buildings. Sigma Chi looks so different. I cannot even tell that it’s Sigma anymore. I miss Biola a lot, but I feel that I need to be at home and learn to deal with whatever I need to here, spiritually and socially. I’m actually really excited to see how God’s going to reveal my purpose to me the rest of this summer. I have definitely learned a lot about leaving everything to God and trusting in Him to take care of everything. Even when I’m alone and hurting I know that He will always be there for me. For through our weakness He is stronger. Man, I am so exhausted from my trip, but I still have so much to do.

Here is my new “to do” list:

1. Learn more Hmong-read Hmong and English Bible together

2. Finish my two books-When God Writes Your Love Story, Captivating

3. Watch some cool movies

4. Continue trusting in God even in hard times

5. Make goals for Ivan

6. Plan culture awareness events with Alex

7. Hang out with Monica and go shopping for room stuff

8. Finish my blog for Guatemala

I know that there is a lot to do. But I am determined to do it. I watched “Facing the Giants” while at Guatemala and a quote that got to me was, “If you accept defeat then that’s what you’ll get.” This is definitely true. One thing I’m dealing with currently that is hard is the fact that Chao is now possibly engaging in other relationships. It definitely hurts, but I’m actually okay with it. I’ve learned to deal with it because I have given so much of myself to him already. If I become upset and jealous then I’ll just be giving more to him that may not even belong to him. My emotions and my heart right now only belong to God and me.

I’ve been missing my youth group a lot. At Guatemala, we hung out with the youth group and they’re so awesome. I loved the guys so much because they reminded me of the guys in my youth group at home. Another girl said that she didn’t have guys like that at home. I never realized how amazing the guys were at our church. I mean I knew they were amazing, but I never realized just how amazing they are. I cannot wait to go to church and chill.

I’ve also learned a lot about friendship. There are some people who pick sides and I’ve finally determined who I do and do not want in my life. I’m not gonna cut anyone out of my life, I just won’t care for them as much. I’m the kind of person who does almost anything for a friend. I try to be considerate and respectful all the time. I love making others feel special. However, when someone else shows me disrespect or no consideration, I tend to hold grudges. I put so much time in my relationship with them and for them to not even appreciate it I get a little upset. But now I’m learning to change. I just won’t be emotionally attached anymore. I get way too emotional. I don’t know how Ju does it, but I’m learning.

a.new.viewpoint.

Now that I'm home, I don't really know what to do. There are so many things to think about. I really need to read read read. But I also need to focus on my mission trip in a couple of weeks. Sooo much stuff to do, and yet I'm super lazy. I don't know what to do anymore. I think I'm lost. This summer I need to focus. I need to set my priorities straight and find out what really matters to me.

List of stuff to accomplish this summer:
1: Reach out to many in Guatemala.
2: Unpack alllll of my stuff.
3: Read at least 10 books.
4: Finish my wedding idea scrapbook.
5: Gain more knowledge and insight.
6: Find a nice color for Monica and my dorm room.
7: Watch Prince Caspian.
8: Deepen my relationship with God.

speechless.

wow. i havent written in a long time. so now i'm sick. i hate being sick. and i can't talk either because my throat is soooo bad. but i love my friends. they're always there for me. i dont think i would be any better if it weren't for my friends. just being around them and smiling and laughing makes me feel a thousand times better. yay. i'm so happy...even though i can't talk :(

rapunzle.

grow hair grow. i want long beautiful hair. now. maybe asians have hair growing medicine....they have medicine for everything else.

i wish i was gorgeous too...but that's another story. grow hair grow.

hmong.pride.

So just recently learned that there are TONS of Hmong people in Southern China. In fact, there, they are called the Miao people. I was taken back at this. My whole life, I have only known of the Hmong people in Thailand and Laos. I have not known of any Hmong people that are not from Thailand nor Laos. I guess this is because all of those in Southern China do not have a great reason to migrate to the states as the Hmong in Thailand. Considering the history of the Hmong in Laos, it is understanding that it is more likely for the majority of the Hmong there have migrated than those in Southern China.
This new discovery has brought many questions to mind. If I do not even know my own culture and history then how are others supposed to know. I have found myself very frustrated lately because I am the only Hmong person at Biola. Every since I was little, I never had any problems with explaining who the Hmong people are because there were tons of them in our town. I would be surprised if no one has heard of them. However, now I'm surprised to find anyone who does know about the Hmong people. I have come to realize just how important the Hmong are. We really need to start a revolution and get to people to be aware of us. There are a lot of Hmong out there....we're just a minority.
So, I'm on a mission to be a good representative of the Hmong people. I hope I can do it well. Going back to my Hmong roots.

weirdandawkwardstage.

I all of a sudden feel alone. lonely. I told you it's not just international students, Melia.

those.people.

there are those whom surprise you. they have so much more depth than expected. it's so nice to find people like that. it generates fun and excitement. they are the people who you are super excited to see. they are the people who you make you laugh for eternity. they are the people who surprise you in every way. they are those who you care most about...even without knowing.

i love all my peeps. ahh...love those people.

madness.

I am so tired of him. What is wrong with him. I am so angry right now. I just want to scream and run and never stop. I want to run all the way to Redding and sock him in the face. So difficult. Why does he have to be so quiet about it. JUST TELL ME! omg. Why do you have to make me so mad? Why am I still worried about him? AH!!!!! forget forget forget. move on move on move on.

No matter how much I still love him, No matter how much I miss us being together, I know that I can't live like this. This is not going to be in my future. I better erase now or suffer. Time to fight.

sanity.

Today was AS chapel.
Very interesting.
I have no idea who to vote for.
However, I do know who I'm not going to vote for.
This is going to be a very interesting election.

I just got back from my counseling session. It went quite well.
More reading to do.
Thesis due tomorrow.
I'm hungry again. There was nothing really good at the cafe today.
I ate pizza. I have to say the pizza was really good though.
The crust was HUGE.

There was a SWARM of bees today outside of the sub.
SO random. Scary too.
oooh. Then I saw baby ducklings by the creek!
omg. So adoreable. Love Love Love.

home.sweet.home.

Being with the family is an interesting feeling. It's a lot of fun especially with the new puppy...his name is Lucky...and he's the 6th member of our family...however, ofcourse, he'll be the seventh as soon as Jeremiah comes out of my mom's growing belly.
My friends are super awesome. It was fun seeing everyone again. Maicy's wedding was awesome. So sad though. But it was awesome.
Seeing Chao again was weird...but good. I loved seeing Sabrina again. she is sooooo funny. I can't even describe it. When she saw me she screamed my name and ran to me for a hug!!! then she yelled to chao that I was here!!! soo funny. also, Chao's grandma keeps asking about me. it's pretty funny. She asked my mom if my mom would give me to Chao. now that's funny. I do love Chao's family...I really do. But right now I am so mad and confused about chao. He makes me mad. He still makes me mad...but I still love him very much. Boys...what am I to do? well, that's my adventure at home so far....just playing with my new puppy and sister. Can't wait to see what happens next.

:O)

i'm starting to get this "ewww....boys have coodies" mind set. soooo.....I think that's a good thing. yup yup.

wowzers.

THERE WAS A FIGHT IN A MCDONALDS PARKING LOT SATURDAY
A LITTLE GIRL'S PARENTS FIGHT ALMOST EVERY NIGHT. ONE NIGHT THE DAD COMES HOME DRUNK AND MAD. HE PULLS OUT A GUN AND SHOOTS HIS WIFE THEN TURNS THE GUN ON HIMSELF. THE LITTLE GIRL SITS BEHIND THE COUCH CRYING. THE POLICE COME AND TAKE THE LITTLE GIRL TO AN ORPHANAGE. SHE WALKS INTO THE THE BEDROOM,AND THERE IS A PICTURE OF JESUS ON THE CROSS.
GIRL: HOW DID THAT MAN GET OFF OF THAT?
TEACHER: HE DIDN'T.
GIRL: YES HE DID.
TEACHER: NO HE DIDN'T.
GIRL: YES HE DID HE ALWAYS SAT NEXT TO ME WHEN MY PARENTS FOUGHT, AND HE TOLD ME EVERYTHING WOULD BE OK.

me is coolio.

I just thought this picture was really inspiring. It can lead to many different views of imagination too. haha....as expected...i thought of Korean drama immediately.

Long lost love. Passion. MERMAID :]

GreatComission.

This picture is of a little boy in Africa who was on his way to a center to get food. He stopped along the way to rest. He did not know that a vulture was close by waiting for him to die.

Death is always waiting around. Are we going to do anything about it? The photographer of this picture committed suicide after receiving an award for this photo. The fact that he did nothing to help the boy after he shot the photo was too much for him to bear.
Are we going to slowly die with guilt? Or are we going to take action?

yo yo. i'm gangster.

1. What's the connection between you and the last person that text you?
there is no connection. cause i cant text.

2. Do you ever turn your cell phone off?
no.

3. What happened at 3:00 am today?
i dont know. the stars shined.

4. When did you last cry?
a while back

5. What is your favorite thing to eat with peanut butter?
jelly and bread....and celery

6. What do you want in your life right now?
a man

7. Do you carry an umbrella when it rains, or just put up your hood?
put up ma hood cause i am GANGSTA

8. Do you wear Crocs?
no....i dont kill crocodiles.

9. What do you smell like?
at the moment....fire.

10. What's your favorite Gatorade flavor?
original

11. What’s your favorite thing to have on your bed?
comforters

13. What's the nicest text in your inbox say?
no messages

14. Do you tend to make relationships complicated?
uh huh

15. Are you wearing anything you borrowed from someone?
no.

16. What was the last movie you went to see?
Miss Pettigrew....AWESOME MOVIE.

17. Do you have Justin Timberlake music on your iPod?
NO.

18. Do you live near your ex boyfriend/girlfriend?
no

19. Can you sleep in jeans?
yes i can

20. Are you a cuddler?
definitely

21. Something you just don't understand?
stupid boys

22. What does the last text message you received say and who was it from?
-

23. What did you reply?
-

24. Who was the last person you were in a car with that is under 25?
josh, kaitlin, monica

25. What is the last place you went?
boba loca

26. When was the last time you saw number 3 on your top friends?
no se

27. Will you kiss the last person you kissed again?
maybe

28. Do you trust people easily?
kinda

29. Do you say "dawg"?
uh huh

30. Relationship Status?
single

31. Have you ever dated someone named Nick?
no...no hmong guys named nick...so far

32. Who was last to cook for you?
the mexican chefs

33. When you sleep do you dream about heroin addicts?
no.....but much worse

38. Name someone whose name starts with the letter "R".
RICHARD CHUNG....MA HOMIE G

39. Do you care what others think about you?
yea....sometimes....depends.

42. Do you think you'll be married in 10 years?
i better be.

43. Will you ever hug the last person you hugged again?
heck yes....big teddy bear Daros

44. What do you look forward to in the next 3 months?
LITTLE BABY BROTHER

45. Who was the last person you called?
monica tzeng

46. Who was the last missed call?
alex sung

47. Who's the most annoying person in your neighborhood?
the party going asian guys who barbequed in the front yard and played basketball and gave us an attitude when they almost got themselves ran over by my mom.....it was their fault.

48. Do you plan on moving in the next year?
no....just back and forth from home and school.

49. What were you doing at 9pm last Friday night?
BOWLING.

50. Whats your favorite kind of drink?
pink lemonade

Dingdong.

Elevator beep.....
Monica: hello?

Leah Laughs hysterically.

Fun. Fun.

I think these are alll SOOOO funny. (Shoeboxblog.com)

This one is for Moni-Monica!!!! muahahaha.

hm.

School = hard.
Boys = dumb.
Girls = complicated.
Jesus = perfect.

AHHH! All I need is You.

Perfect Love.

Can love like this ever be found? Or is it just in the movies?
Most girls dream of this kind of perfect love. I know I do. But what is perfect love? Besides the perfect love that we receive from Jesus Christ, I would say that perfect love is the one that we fight for and sacrifice for more than anything. For some reason, this sounds easy...because we've seen it so many times in movies and korean dramas. But when we have the opportunity to fight for this perfect love we often run away. We are too scared. This is exactly the same as the Father's love. We are often too afraid of "going the distance" for God. I have now determined that if I cannot run towards the only perfect love there is, how in the world can I find any kind of sincere and genuine love with the opposite sex? From God's love I can find the perfect love that He has for me. That's my goal now. Run towards God. Professor Jung once said, "If you are looking for that significant other in your life, run as fast as you can towards God. And if anyone can catch up and keep up with you then hold on to them with your life."

My Current Obsession

BI RAIN

Bi Rain is one of the top Korean artists in all of Asia. His dream goal is to be successful in America. I don't always understand what he is singing about...but it's still AWESOME!!!!



Real name: Jung Ji Hoon.
Age: 26
Height: 184 cm. approx. 6'2 ish.

MAN! He also dances very very well and is a great actor.
Cant get enough of him :)